Third in a series of Weekend Tips to Build Attraction in Your Marriage
This one sounds counter-intuitive … how does leaving your wife at the house and going off to do something fun by yourself build attraction? After all, you’re not even with her.
All the marriage advice says to spend more time together, not less. True, but what they don’t tell you is that unless you spend time on your own interests, your wife has no interest in spending time with you.
Stop Endlessly Orbiting Her
The truth is that women are drawn to men who do interesting things. When you endlessly orbit her like a puppy begging for the crumbs of her attention, she loses interest. Sounds harsh, I know, but my guess is you’ve seen it in action, either from personal experience or watching your friends. That guy who orbits his wife, and you just want to smack him and say, “Dude, wake up! She’s not all that.”
Unless you spend time on your own interests, your wife has no interest in spending time with you.
When you’re around the house all the time, you become part of the landscape to her. She’s completely complacent, she knows where you are and what you’re doing 24/7. Bluntly, it’s boring. And boring kills attraction.
Shake that up. Get out of the house! Go … Do. It doesn’t even really matter what you do. Just something that isn’t her.
Endlessly orbiting her like she’s the earth and you’re the moon kills desire.
Go to the ‘Magic Place of Out’
But you say you don’t want to leave the house. Well, right. Of course, you don’t. It’s so much easier staying in your own comfort zone, just chilling out, gaming and surfing. But it doesn’t get the girl. ‘Easy’ doesn’t get you what you want. Never did, never will.
Remember that attraction is powered by dopamine, the novelty neurotransmitter. Routine is attraction’s nemesis. To build sexual interest, do novel things.
Take Back What’s Yours
A lot of guys draw a blank remembering what brings excitement and flow. Real fun disappeared a long time ago, and now all that exists is work, family duties, and screen time.
Deadly routine. Shake that up at least once or twice a week. Go to a gym, join a trivia team at a local bar, find a hiking group. Whatever. Do the things that bring you excitement and flow.
You’re a man of high value. You don’t need your wife. Want her, but don’t need her.
Remember when you first dated her? Your life was your own, separate from hers. You did things with your guy friends. People to see and places to go. She was into you. Reclaim that.
Put It into Action
This all sounds fine and wonderful but maybe intimidating at first. Let’s break it down.
- Search out fun stuff and identify 4-5 activities you’d enjoy. Make sure it’s out of the house. If you draw a blank, go back a few decades and recall what you used to do for fun.
- Research local venues and narrow your choices down to one or two.
- Schedule your first activity.
- Let your wife know you’re going out.
- Go have fun.
Give it a shot for a couple of weeks. See if it makes a difference in your own energy and your wife’s interest in you. Have you noticed a change?