My husband found some massage videos on YouTube, and decided to practice, using me as his guinea pig. He’s given me massages before, but Wow! this one was different.
There was quivering, there was shaking, there was shuddering.
From 0 to 60 in under 20 minutes.
Resistance is futile.
What made the difference? He completely switched it up this time and used an erotic technique versus a sensual one.
There are different types of sexual massages … ones designed to increase comfort and connection … and ones that are designed specially to build attraction and arousal.
They’ve both got their place, but if you’re specifically going for an erotic massage, you’ve got to do a few things differently than you normally do.
Raise her temperature
She can’t relax if she’s shivering and women orgasm more easily when they’re physically warm, especially their feet. Have her take a hot bath or shower first, turn up the thermostat, or run a blow dryer on the bed to warm it up.
It doesn’t necessarily matter what kind, as long as it gives you a good glide. Put towels or a sheet down on the bed first, because most oils stain sheets. You might not care, but she will and she won’t be able to relax. Have her pull her hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of the oil.
Almond oil, coconut oil, and grapeseed oil are all good choices and available on Amazon at reasonable prices. My husband used silicone lube because that’s what we happened to have on hand. Be generous and don’t stint on lavishing it on.
Cover her with a towel initially
She needs to be wearing the minimum of clothing in order for the massage to be effective but many women aren’t willing to take their clothes off right away. If you can’t get her naked, have her strip down to just a cami and panties. That’s enough that she’ll feel covered, but you’ll still have access.
Use towels to cover her at first; it soothes her into feeling safe and comfortable. And then you just push the towels out of the way as needed.
Use both hands and move vigorously
Guys tend to keep their strokes too slow and sensuous. It’s soothing, but not arousing. Really use your muscles and bear down on the big muscle groups, and then lighten up to a feather touch on the delicate areas. Switch back and forth.
Touch her body like you own it
You want to have the mindset that you are a professional masseur and she is your client. Casually move her hands when they’re in your way, and confidently move her body around as needed.
Start with non-erogenous zones first, but don’t be shy about touching her erogenous areas when you reach them. Act like you don’t even know they’re there, this is all part of the service. The message is that you are totally in charge, which allows her to relax.
They’re sensual and the dim light will help your wife feel more comfortable about being exposed.
I’m not going to link specific videos because the most useful ones are pretty explicit. There are a ton of them on YouTube, though, so have at it.
Try it for Valentine’s Day and see what you think.